Science and Praying

A fornight ago, and again yesterday, I found myself saying a little prayer before beginning my experiments. 

It was unusual for a self-proclaimed atheist like me. 

For more than half a year, I have been trying -- struggling -- to reproduce some data a previous graduate student had reported in his study.  It was important because my work is a continuation of what he had discovered -- briefly, something about cancer stem cells and its markers. However, despite following the protocol and carrying it out meticulously the way I was shown when I first arrived, I only managed to reproduce the result once. 

At the same time, another student who was recapitulating the work had the same spirit-defeating results as I did. None of us could consistently reproduce the aforementioned data. Adding to our frustration, self-doubt, and to a certain extent -- amazement -- was that particular, now graduated student could get the result every time he did the experiment. We asked, every time we saw each other, "Why?" and shook our heads. 

I couldn't help but asked The Master to show me his moves and did it again exactly how he had demonstrated to me, even the way he breathed in every step in the protocol. 

Alas! Still to no avail.

I was totally lost. Where'd I gone wrong? Then, I began to doubt. Doubting about my own capabilities and doubting the validity of the result. It was just beyond beffuddling. I didn't argue. I couldn't argue, not in an environment where communication is difficult and where the professor, after looking at my presentation, delivered his coup de grace and said, "Dr XX will help you with this work. Your skill is no good. Do you agree?" I could only nod and say nothing.

It is only a month away from my final presentation. And so, it is in times of hopelessness, desperation, completely crushed and nowhere to turn like this, that man turn to the Omnipresent. Asking for divine intervention is a sign of losing control, of helplessness; it is also a sign that, somewhere deep inside the heart, there's the hope of turning around. 

It is an irony really. Centuries ago, great scientists revolted against religion in the name of science. Some even sacrificed their lives. But decades later, surrounded by expensive, sophisticated scientific experimental instruments, someone is on his knees praying.